The Ultimate Movie Review of Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull
Posted by Chris on May 29, 2008 @ 1:19amWell. I gingerly sauntered over to my local cineplex at 3:40 this afternoon to see Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull. I won’t say that I have been waiting 19 years to see this movie. I haven’t. I kind of thought that the last one wasn’t that great. Raiders of The Lost Ark, and Temple of Doom were awesome, and I’ll tell you why…When you’re 4 years old, and you see people’s faces melting, and punches that sound like whips cracking, it doesn’t matter what the movie is about. Temple of Doom was actually even better on the gross out scale, but unfortunately, it made me weary 7 year old of my friend Ravi’s Dad when he invited us over for dinner. My reference for Indian food has changed dramatically in recent times, as it’s quite delicious, but as you may be able to imagine, when Mr. Singh asked me if I’d be interested in trying Biryani, I immediately thought that we were having baby boa constrictors, with an appetizer of scorpions.
Crystal Skull is a good movie. What I immediately liked about it was the fact that Spielberg was looking to offset the noticeable difference that the presence of CGI makes when you’re continuing installments of movies that had none. For instance, the introduction of the title and actors through credit is done in a way that’s very reminiscent of the early eighties in it’s minimalism. There’s no swooshing I-N-D-I…you know. Just a basic fade, much like in the earlier two movies with the kind of font you’d expect on the back of one of those big plastic video boxes. Often with these movies, I find myself literally picking up where I may have left off, and I wasn’t dissapointed. As soon as I saw Harrison Ford, I bought that it was in fact 1957, and that our favorite archeologist had aged. I even bought Shia Laboeuf coming into the movie. I thought he would be the kind of weak outcast character that we may have come to expect from him in what seems like every fucking movie he’s ever made, but he’s actually kind of a tough ass in the movie, and I’m beginning to see the makings of what could be a stellar actor in the future. I thought Disturbia was good. Cate Blanchett is HOT, but lame in this movie. She does a Russian accent about as good as anyone, but the character isn’t that memorable. Karen Allen returns as Marion Ravenwood, and John Hurt puts in a good turn in the movie as some delinquent named Oxley. The cast is good. The movie’s opening begins with an impressive infiltration of Area 51, where Russian soldiers led by Blanchett’s “Colonel Spolka” curiously take out about 5 guardsmen at a gate that is reminiscent of a Senior’s residence, and then manage to mingle around in a hangar full of awesome shit without alerting any other American military to come and perhaps prevent just anyone from coming into their secret warehouse and treating it like a Costco. There’s an awesome scene where Indy happens upon a little community within Area 51, and then quickly makes a realization and has to do some quick thinking.
The action is good. I hate saying stuff like that…the action, but I mean this is what these movies are about. The one complaint I had about the movie is that this franchise has progressively become less violent. As mentioned, in the first two movies, we saw horrific face melting, the biggest collection of insects in a chamber that still sickens me to this day, a literally heart wrenching sacrificial scene, disgusting dinners, and Nazis getting hacked up by propellor blades. This is entertainment value for the buck. The last two movies eased up on that kind of thing, probably to avoid too harsh a rating. The only thing is when you start a franchise off like that, you need to be aware that whether people admit it or not, they want to continue seeing that.
I don’t want to give up too much about the movie. Indiana Jones dies at the end of the film. No…but there is a scene in the movie of alien origin, if you know what I mean. The fucking movie starts off in Area 51, so that’s not giving up too too much. Some Comic-Con nerd beside me speculated about how awesome the film could have wrapped up if Indiana Jones uncovered the remains of Chewbacca, and then hopped into the Millenium Falcon to fly back to Harvard for class. I distinctly heard the guy then ask his friend if they were entitled to free refills on popcorn after snort laughing.
Should they make another one? I don’t know. I felt myself walking away from the movie feeling that the original people involved had done another installment justice, BUT, that they should have made another one way earlier and not 19 years later. Harrison Ford looks tremendous for his age, and I’m sure he’s sick of hearing that. I’ve heard that he’s considering making some other sequels, such as Hollywood Homicide 2, Frantic 2, and Regarding Henry 2. He can pull it off. He still looks young enough. It’s not like Clint Eastwood, who I believe has aged gracefully, but who is beginning to look like Skeletor. Ford need not worry about that kind of thing, I believe, so if they make another one, then he should, if not for the money, but to inspire Senior’s Groups across North America.
